Whoosh...journal November 14 2020



This year has not been the year many of us were hoping for.  Not only facing a world wide pandemic and political upheaval many of us add our own health and mental crisis, employment loss, isolation anxiety, childcare issues and educational concerns for our kids and grandkids.  There are so many worries in our world it is impossible to truly list or wrap our minds around the enormity of it all.


I have mostly been quiet, tip toeing around 2020 in hopes it would not take a huge bite out of our family as I watched it sink it’s teeth in again and again.  I recently dodged and missed, finding myself in a dermatology office shaking like a leaf and realizing how much emotion I had been bottling up and needing most desperately to relax and trust God and the hard earned skills of this doctor.


I let my mind go to the 3 little boys that sit at makeshift desks in my house a couple days a week.  One loves to tell me “you’re not a real teacher” but still trusts and allows me to guide him through the 3 1/2 hours without complaint.  This has been my way to bring back some “normal” to these little guys.  Pouring into their minds all the things littles should be thinking about and not the worries of this world.


As the doctor made that first cut into my skin I went back to those tiny 4 year old fingers gripping the pencils as their entire bodies work to shape letters out of those wiggly marks.  I cheer them on and rejoice with them as the wiggles become the letters they hoped they would be.  They smile with delight as the breath they were holding whooshes from them and in that moment I trust and allow the breath I am holding whoosh from me.  


The doctor soon tugs the last stitch into place and I am able to leave with a calm mind and confidence that no matter what is to come God is in control.  I trust him to guide me as these wiggly lines of life become straighter paths leading to better things in the days that have yet to be lived.


Let’s quit holding our breath my friends and hit the last of 2020 with all the force we have created within us.  Living each day like the best day of your lives, no wiggly lines or shadows to fear.  Whoosh!

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I love your words and how you tell a story. Thank you for putting your life on "paper" for us all.

Agreed. I’ve been going with the flow because life would be too hard to maneuver by going against it, thus swimming up stream. I hope all goes well with your derma test. Blessings. I’ll bet you’re an amazing teacher.
2020 has been a pain all year. Let's just kick it in the ass on it's way out the door & say "Good riddance!"
Well said! Love you, Larissa!
Beautiful message, yes, 2020 will go down in history. For me, it is also the year I found out I had cancer.
So , yes, we must stay strong, and no “ wiggly lines”. Hope all is well with your bx.
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Vital Info


August 29, 2009


Cancer Info

Colon and Rectal Cancer

September 28, 2004

Stage 3C

4.1 - 5.0 cm


That affects more than just me.

That I have more strength than I ever imagined.

left with mild neuropothy, balance and memory issues

Cedar Sinai in Beverly Hills California


Write things down, play memory games and games that make you think quickly

Since the first and 1 recurrence I have lived no evidence of disease


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