Larissa's Cancer Blog

Ready, set, goes too fast....journal 8/22/19

Ready, set, goes too fast...journal August 22 2019

 

Last week I was complaining about having to wash out the potty chair after our youngest grandson had completed “his job”.  Today he jumped up from play and bolted for the bathroom hollering “I’m using your potty Grandma”.  I yelled back that there was no potty chair in there and skidded to a breathless halt behind him as his pants hit the floor and he jumped on the big potty barebacked and as steady as a rodeo pro!  My heart split in two as he gleefully exclaimed, “I’m doing it and I am not falling in anymore”!  I wanted to respond with cheer but the tears in my eyes turned to bile in my throat as this sweet, scrappy bundle of love and energy chomped down on the toilet seat he was hanging onto like a life preserver.

This little guy came to our family close on the heels of his older brother and between the two of them could not have made our entry into grandparenthood any better.  They are both feisty boys, quick witted, easy smiles and always available for snuggles and loves.  At the end of a day we are counting the minutes for their parents to pick them up and in the same breath begging the clock not to move.

Did we hug them enough?  Did we answer all the questions of the day?  Did we soak in every gentle moment and forgive every nerve fraying outburst?

Just an hour before our rodeo pro made his big throne debut I had picked up the eldest grandson from school.   I watched him confidently step out of line and wrestle a couple of his Buddies as his teacher reminded them not to roughhouse and to stay in line.  I stood aside until he looked up and caught my gaze, his eyes twinkling he stepped boldly out of line and caught my hand almost daring his teacher to tell him to once again return to his place.  I gently nudged him back in line as we made our way into the classroom to sign out and then took our customary walk hand in hand slowly back to the car.  My heart thudded in my chest as we walked and I wondered how many times I would get to hold his sweet little hand before he became too big and cool for this precious thing his Grandma loves so much. 

We all live borrowed time on this earth, every minute is a gift to be treated as the treasure it was meant to be.  Created by God for our enjoyment we often forget how precious each minute is when jumbled together into the hours of things heaped on our day.  It takes effort and strength we may not know we possess to pluck  beautiful moments from the funk in the day, but this is energy well spent.

Don’t waste time fretting over things that you feel need to change, change comes as quickly as the hands on the clock move round and truly we have little to do with the long term outcome of said change.  When you factor in all the people in the world and the dynamic influence each of us has within it how can we possible fret over dust, schedules, broken trinkets and perceived time wasted.

Get out there people, there are thrones to ride, walls to be colored, questions to answer, stories to tell, people to hug, babies to snuggle, hands to hold and friends and strangers to cheer on!

Live each day like the best day of your lives. 

Annabelle, Daisy sent you a hug.
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Beautiful words for the heart!
So very well said
Absolutely! Love you, my friend!
This is such a beautiful post. Our moto is, we have today. Soak up this beautiful boys, I know you are doing that already and they will remember these special times throughout their lives. Grandparents are truly special.
Must have been frightening for you, that he would fall in. Good for him though, brave. I don't think he will ever get too big to hang out with Grandma 😉
Wow. I got all teary reading this. All so true & all so wonderful. Hugs xx
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New Shoes....journal August 21 2019

I have touched on it before, felt the “come to terms” moment, talked it out, spat upon it and still it is just in my face non stop.  Then again how can it not be in my face when there are four of us in this family juggling doctors and lining up appointments like it is a job.

We have Lynch, we have knowledge that gives us power and that same knowledge can in turn kick the wind out of us as we traverse the daily lives we still long to live.  That mismatch, hiccup of a gene that we would love to reach in and fine tune is sometimes barely noticeable and other times completely blocks our ability to think.  It reminds me of a new pair of shoes that in the store seem oh so perfect and then one day out become a blistering nemesis.

Life is like that for all of us if we really think about it.  Growing up in tough circumstances, health issues, deaths of loved ones, losing friends, jobs, or security all leave us with the feeling that at any time life can blister us and we panic.

That panic can quickly become a monster if we don’t equip our minds with a safe place, a means of escape so to speak.  Oh panic may come back, in fact it probably will but at least we have set up in our minds a place that gets us away from it quickly.

Recently I realized I have honed this skill in my mind so well that I may not sound compassionate when speaking to people with new cancers or other pain in their lives and I seek balance.  In my family these bumps in the road come so frequently we have to make them as mundane as shopping for a new pair of shoes.  

No one likes shoe shopping as much as it seems we would.  It is tough to find just the right color, fit or size.  Sometimes they rub a bit and we have to break them in.  They cost so much more than we anticipated and often have a blemish in the stitching that really gets us worked up given the cost and time given up for them.

Once we settle down, give the situation some time we can come to terms with it, live with it and even find laughter in spite of it.  It may not be what we had dreamed of, planned for or want in any way shape or form but it is ours so we best not worry about potential blisters and just get set to break in life’s bumps like a new pair of shoes that make us run faster and jump higher than ever before.

Living each day like the best day of our lives!

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Cherie, Lenaecpht sent you a hug.
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I love this. Rolling with the punches is necessary if we want to get the most out of life!
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Vital Info

Posts

August 29, 2009

California

Cancer Info

Colon and Rectal Cancer

September 28, 2004

Stage 3C

4.1 - 5.0 cm

Yes

That affects more than just me.

That I have more strength than I ever imagined.

left with mild neuropothy, balance and memory issues

Cedar Sinai in Beverly Hills California

Exercise!!!!

Write things down, play memory games and games that make you think quickly

Since the first and 1 recurrence I have lived no evidence of disease

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