Larissa's Cancer Blog

Our triplets are identical....2/2/19

My triplets are identical....blog 2/2/19 In 2004 we decided to take our 3 kids to Hawaii for the first time, hoping to have some family time that soon disappears as they head into lives too busy to accommodate such togetherness. We chuckled as we watched our son settle in between his sisters on the plane, his eyes big and his hands gripping the the armrests as a smile formed in the corners of his mouth. He is quiet, loves an adventure and takes it all in with silent awe. Road trips of any kind send him packing a bag and now this adventure promised to be greater than any before. The girls 4 1/2 years apart sandwich their brother in age, he is the mediator often tempering their more volatile temperaments. They are quick to laughter, always chattering and sometimes bickering until we travel and they both drop off into carsick slumber leaving their brother the silent world he so enjoys. We made our destination and spent the next glorious week soaking up sunshine, exploring the island and sea around us. We made many many fabulous memories and 15 years later still look back and wish we were there. When it was time to depart we were waiting in a long line of travelers while our kiddos lounged on a ledge nearby. Suddenly a man walks up and says “my wife and I are curious, are they triplets or a set of twins and a single”? I stare at him in confusion and answer “our children are all singles”. To which he answered, “ are you sure”? I still laugh to this day picturing his face as I assured him I had indeed given birth at three very separate times. He walked away and I could see he and his wife looking none convinced by my answer. Weeks after our dream trip my fearsome 3 would go through the roller coaster of my cancers and treatments. Together as always they faced it head on and got each other through the tough spots. Taking turns being the strong one, always circling back to make sure they had the pack together and safe. They are what everyone wishes they had in a sibling and I am so glad they have each other. The years continued to go by and it was determined I carry a cancer causing gene with a 50% chance of passing it to my kids. We dreaded the day they would take this test to see which if any would dodge this bullet. They took the test out of birth order this time, which was very strange to me as we always do everything in order! Our eldest took her test first and not only discovered the gene was present but battled her first cancer as well. Our youngest daughter was next and she too carries the mutation and was encouraged to start and finish her family quickly so she could move to the next step of safe guarding her health. Our son was last and quickly approaching the latest possible age the doctors had set for the testing. We all held our breath as we awaited the results, all feeling that he too would have it but dreaming that maybe, just maybe we could rejoice in a negative! Well sir, they are indeed triplets and our triplets are identical. They may not share the same birth date but they all share one nasty genetic mutation. We cried our tears, lashed out at the injustice and set the course for life as usual with a few more procedures, tests and days we feel emotion sprinkled in. Empowered by knowledge I did not have prior to cancer, these kids of mine can go at this with weapons of interception and destruction. With strength, tenacious spirits and zest for life’s adventures my fearsome 3 will continue to live each day like it’s the best day of their lives.
Annabelle, Sabina like this post.
Annabelle threw a punch at your cancer.
3 people sent you a hug.
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The good news is they know and can be prepared for what may come down the road. I would want to know, I guess some don't but I think it is smart to take the test. Life in uncertain in many ways, I am one to be prepared if I can be. Your triplets seem like a delight, and it is so wonderful that they have each other. You have such a beautiful family, you are blessed.
I am glad that now we have the opportunity to get this testing. With my genetic mutation it is recommended to start colonoscopies at the age of 40. I had mine the first one at 45 when I was already stage 4.
Not the results any of you were praying for, but information that allows us to be prepared for what may lie ahead is better than not having it at all. I hope and pray that by the grace of God, your "triplets" are spared from this. I remember meeting your son--what a nice young man. I know your girls are just as sweet! Sending prayers for you all.
Lol, it seems like the gentleman still did not believe you had three separate births. I'm sorry your children inherited the gene but it's good that they know so they can be vigilant. Is it Lynch? I know that's not the only genetic link for colon ca but it's the usual. Seems like you've raised them with a good set of ethics and reason, I think they'll be ok.🙏🏻👍🏻
Yes Lynch, MLH1 and no I do not think the man and his wife believed me lol.
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Let it go...journal 1/19/19

Let it go....journal January 19 2019

 

We live in a society where many days we feel as if we are just hanging on by a thread.  Deadlines, expectations, quotas, home decor, fashion and even the persona of our well being have us pushing ourselves into stress induced breakdowns.

The body and mind can only handle so much before the overload shows what damage it is causing.  Forgetfulness, anxiety, depression, aches, pains, headaches can lead to breaking the body down and allowing bigger diseases to step in and rob us of vitality or even life altogether.

I listened to a sermon recently about worry.  I listened intently because it contained a verse I cling to so much I had it tattooed it on my body years ago.  Yup, old lady with Matthew 6:34 permanently inked on her body so she never forgets the importance of, “Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself, each day has enough trouble of it’s own”.

Do I do this well, this not worrying thing?  Probably not but I diligently work at it each and every day.  Taking note, prioritizing and letting go.

Letting go, oh my this is a tough one. We want control, we want our stuff, we want our polished image and we are natural managers of all things ours.  

Years ago I was working in a small stable with very expensive Egyptian Arabian horses.  These horses were high strung, easily agitated and did not get out much so I was attempting to show them a world they had never known.  One day I took a beautiful, grey mare out for a ride and we encountered a man hole cover.  She lost her mind and began snorting, raring up and thrashing around.  I slid off her back in an attempt to soothe her by allowing her to see me but now I was dodging steel shod hooves backed by a thousand pounds of crazed idiot.  It was about this time I heard “let it go” and I began to access what was around.  Garbage truck coming down the road, busy street not far away, some people jogging on the side walk all left me thinking there was no way I could “let it go”.  This highly prized animal could get killed or kill someone else and I WAS IN CONTROL, but I wasn’t and as I heard again “let it go” I let go.  

For a second I thought I had made the worst choice of my life as this creature bolted away, but as I limped after her I saw her run a short distance and shield herself behind a hedge.  Protected from the manhole of death, the rattling monster garbage truck and the strangers bounding down the sidewalk.  Her sides heaving she whinnied at me and her eyes begged me to take her home.

This creature had everything she needed in life, she was fed, her home was warm and clean, she had people that loved her and her work was something she could do well and be done with at the end of the day.  She needed no more than what she had to be the incredible horse she was created to be and she learned quickly that more was just too much.

Creating a life that is just enough but not too much, the perfect balance of what is needed and to the rest we say “let it go”!

Living each day like it’s the best day of our lives.  Go get today, make it simple, make it special and bless someone along the way.

Annabelle sent you a hug.
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THANK YOU for this wonderful post. I so needed to read it! I also need to do it. Thanks for reminding me there are times when not letting go can do so much damage.
❤️
I am having a hard time right now with the letting go thing. Some days taking care of my 94-year old mother with dementia, worrying about not being able to sell her house that's 600 miles away, and all the other stuff can be overwhelming. I will try to do better!
That is tough stuff to deal with. I find that I just have to write down the long term “musts” and then just fight to stay in the “what can I do today”?! Day by day, sometimes breath by breath. Be gentle on you, there is only so much one human can do!!! 💜
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Thanks, Larissa!
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Vital Info

Posts

August 29, 2009

California

Cancer Info

Colon and Rectal Cancer

September 28, 2004

Stage 3C

4.1 - 5.0 cm

Yes

That affects more than just me.

That I have more strength than I ever imagined.

left with mild neuropothy, balance and memory issues

Cedar Sinai in Beverly Hills California

Exercise!!!!

Write things down, play memory games and games that make you think quickly

Since the first and 1 recurrence I have lived no evidence of disease

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