Larissa's Cancer Blog

The Corridors….journal March 29 2022

March is colon cancer awareness month, Lynch syndrome awareness month and somehow the month my yearly scans and bloodwork are done each year.  

As I ready myself to head to LA I am flooded with memories of Marilyn whom I met in a hospital waiting room years ago.    She has since moved to Texas and due to her age and health our contact slipped through the cracks and I have no update on her.  I miss her tremendously, I miss spending the nights before scans in her home, catching up and having her to look forward to each year.

This year my son went with me and as I headed into the bowels of the buildings, yes pun intended, I tried to keep my mind on the good.  I was changed into the finery of hospital garb and ushered not into a waiting room but a corridor to await my IV and scan.  

In these times of masked faces you  no longer can smile at people but have to use some sort of twinkle to your eye and actual words to make contact with other beings.  The horror of speaking was upon me but being me the mouth would not stay shut.  In my desperate need to find good I spoke to the woman across from me. 

The dark corridor of grim diagnosis, uncertainty and fear faded and the area lit up as two humans chose to share the wonderful things in life that are the things we focus on and the health stuff, while present had to take a backseat.  Missing my dear friend from the past was not as painful as I chatted with this new human beginning her uncharted health journey.  

I continued through the corridors to blood draw, then doctor to discover my scans were clear, into the hug of my favorite oncology nurse and once again bumped into the woman from earlier.  Contact info was exchanged and wishes for a bright future shared.

How many corridors in life do we find ourselves rushing through?  How many hold deep shadows causing us fear, freezing us into a moment we cannot escape as the memory locks into our brain.  How many of those could change if we choose to flip the situation and make the corridor look different.  

We often don’t get the choice of which corridors we have to enter but we get to choose how we travel through them.  May your choices be wise and your paths be well lit as you seek the joy in your journey my friends.

 

Living each day as the best day of our lives!

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Annabelle, Deborah sent you a hug.
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Love this! Cancer truly sucks, but the people we meet as we go through the corridors make the bad stuff take a back seat, even if only temporarily. I am so glad to hear your great news, my friend. I know you are very relieved. Enjoy your beautiful family! Love ya!
Love you too!
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Toss the filters journal 1/3/2022

New Years’s eve I sat quietly waiting with the clock to bid farewell to a year that was not the year many of us had wished for.  Now by no means did it come completely void of blessings, but many of us will attest to the fact we were faking a lot of our outer optimism.

 

With social media and technology we have at our hands filters that we use for all types of things.  Skies look brighter, teeth appear whiter, wrinkles fade away and we can paint a rosey picture of how we wish life felt at any given moment.

 

As someone who dabbles in photography I have been allowed to capture some of life’s most precious moments.  People spend a lot of money to make sure those photos are perfect. They use them to store the memories of something spectacular and they want them flawless.  To make it happen we bring in the filters, fake lighting, heavy editing and tossing  the less than perfect shots.

 

The photographer takes on this task, first through the hours that capture every moment them deciding what memories will make the cut. In editing our finger readies to erase the food smudges in the corner of a toddler’s mouth, delete the crying pictures of infants and attempt to decide how much wrinkle and redness to smooth from faces  weathered by life.

 

With regret we delete and alter each moment to create the clean, happy, stress free memories people long for.  Our hundreds of captured moments, your memories reduced to a fragment of the time spent together, our heart breaking a little with each hit of the delete key.

 

In life we can’t say good riddance to 365 days, we can’t delete the parts that do not fit into our happy bubble.  Every one of those days shaped us into who we are, taught us where there needs to be change, what we did well, what we were blessed with.  Our new wrinkles, grey hair, stains, blemishes and tears should be as cherished as our laughter and joy.

 

We are entering 2022, don’t hit delete on 2021 as we journey forward.  Take it with you, learn to gaze upon each memory not as one little, filtered piece but instead an entire picture that needs every piece to be whole.  

 

Toss the filters, keep the memories and let the world share in you just as you are.  Live each day of 2022 as the best day of your life!

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Not easy to do after a year like 2021, but I'll try!
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Blessings for 2022 Larissa. I always enjoy the depth with which you create your posts. There is one particular filter I use, the only filter really, since I like my fine lines and greying hair and that’s the “red eye corrector”. (Your meaning of “filters” was not lost on me though; just threw a little crazy humor in). Blessings 😘
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Vital Info

Posts

August 29, 2009

California

Cancer Info

Colon and Rectal Cancer

September 28, 2004

Stage 3C

4.1 - 5.0 cm

Yes

That affects more than just me.

That I have more strength than I ever imagined.

left with mild neuropothy, balance and memory issues

Cedar Sinai in Beverly Hills California

Exercise!!!!

Write things down, play memory games and games that make you think quickly

Since the first and 1 recurrence I have lived no evidence of disease

Stats

Posts: 208
Photos: 37
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